Written By Gabrielle
Bags in tow we piled into the songthaews leaving Chiang Mai, the city that will forever have a place in our hearts. Despite the only headrest being a friendly shoulder and the cramped leg space, at some point we all dozed off in military posture. Retrospectively, this was not enough meditation prep for the Buddhist feminist retreat as many of us admitted to catching ourselves as we literally fell into sleep during the meditation.
Whereas post-retreat travel had been go-go-go, here the daily routines were slower-paced. Group nap time was universally embraced, book club became a daily highlight, home-cooked meals were devoured so fast that the staff feared for our digestive health, and morning yoga was reimplemented from our Pun Pun days (fun fact: P’Krit, one of our favorite people from Pun Pun, had taught yoga here prior to our visit). While our bodies were at peace with this slower routine, our minds were ready to hit the floor running. We expressed our interests in learning the historic origins of Buddhism, personalizing what feminism means to us, and how we could use meditation as a tool to create presence. That said, we got so much more out of this experience: unforgettable mentors, identifying our sources of power, and stronger feelings of camaraderie within our group.
We were first asked to share something the group knew nothing about. An impossible task as we all felt like we’d known each other our entire lives. In response, Pi Ouyporn shared a Buddhist sentiment that touched each of our hearts: ‘all thirteen of you knew each other in a past life and that is why you are all on this journey together.’ Overcoming the original hurdle to share an unheard history we took the opportunity to learn about others as well as ourselves. We listened to silly and heart-warming stories as well as listening to people’s pain and sadness. Through this experience we came to understand that ‘deep listening is a radical act. We emptied our mind for our partner and they for us’ creating a space for deep understanding where all voices could be heard. One of the Buddha’s teachings is that we are all connected through suffering. At first, we struggled with the idea that humanity could be connected by something so sad. But after practicing in deep listening we recognized the irreversible bonds that formed as a result of our individual resiliency in sharing our vulnerabilities.
Funnily enough, through an activity where we pretended to be dancing frogs, we identified the causes and effects of power. With the purpose of dismantling systems of oppression and protecting marginalized communities, we pinpointed the social barriers observed in education, the economy, and justice systems. Using our sources of power we were able to address an institution of oppression: CP. CP is a big corporation that owns companies such as 7/11 and Lotus. Their monopoly within the industry is pushing small family businesses in Thailand out of the market. One statement that the owner of CP made was ‘when you control the food, you control the people. ‘ After learning this we made a group decision to proactively shop locally-owned businesses. Though we aren’t dismantling a system of oppression, it felt good to use the power within to fight institutions of injustice. Who knows, maybe the small steps we take today to make the world a better place and could be part of a bigger movement later in our lives.
During one of our sessions, we learned that the definition of feminism is the equality of all genders. One aspect of feminism that stood out to us was looking at feminism from an intersectional viewpoint – meaning looking at all the identities within the feminist community: ability, race, socioeconomic status, etc. This ties back into our discussion of power as we recognized that people with different identities are affected by issues surrounding feminism in different forms. Looking from an intersectional perspective also allowed us to dissect feminism through the lens of a Buddhist. After hearing the historical origins of Buddhism we observed how a patriarchy gradually grew within the religion. Deciphering from current day Buddhist monk practices and Buddhist teachings allowed us to appreciate the knowledge we gained of Buddhism while still giving it constructive critiques based on our knowledge of feminism.
One highlight was our first passion project. Claire instructed us in the art of kickboxing. There were a couple moments where people missed the pillow targets and hit their partners. But by the end, we had mastered the jab, cross, kick, and knee. If we’re ever in a situation we’ll call upon our kickboxing skills.
Given all the musical talent, it should not have come as a surprise that our group celebrated our first-month anniversary of traveling through music. At our enthusiastic request, Kate whipped out her flute for the first time. Never having played the ‘Hanging Tree’ before, she impressively taught herself to play in five minutes tops. Ava who was pleasantly suprised to find her harmonica at the bottom of her bag serenaded us with ‘Piano Man’. With his brand new Thai-bought ukulele, Trevor started to learn to play ‘Hey There Delilah’. And per usual, we all smiled as Leora who has the voice of an angel went through her bedtime routine singing her heart out. On a sidenote, this night also marked the completion of our team flag. Overall, it was a night of laughter, music and celebration.
While music had made its mark on the group, connection through silence had not yet been experienced. Every afternoon we would take part in a silent walking meditation through the rice field with a view of the mountains. The setting sun painted the sky in pinks, oranges and reds. Honestly, the pictures can’t do this experience justice. For my part, sharing those common moments of appreciation for the surrounding nature in silence filled me with love for those I am traveling with. Afterwards, there were comments of how we never want to lose the awe moment we had during our mindful walks. Even though we were a month in, for many of us this was the first time the distance from home felt tangible.
The camaraderie felt here and the knowledge shared will forever be with us and, hopefully, make our skies a little bluer as we head to the Theravada Retreat. As a thank you to Ginger and Ouyporn, our teachers, Ning, our yoga instructor, and cooking staff whose meals never failed, we sang a song:
“I am one with the breeze
Breathing heart beating
Present and free
Even though hard times are right here with me
I am grateful to be…”