Greetings to my family, friends, fellow gap year goers, and future latitudes students who are stalking blogs to decide where they will eventually end up…
To be completely transparent, I have been in Cusco, Peru for five and a half weeks, and I am just now starting to truly enjoy my time here. It is an absolutely beautiful city with a tremendous amount of history and has loads to offer, but for my first half of my FVP, Cusco was seemingly not the place for me.
Adjusting to change is hard in any situation. Personally, I had convinced myself that I could not do it, and that it was time for me to either move on and start over in another location and with another volunteer placement, or just go home. I am significantly younger than all of the other volunteers I work with, none of them speak a grip of English, and the school I am taking Spanish classes at had temporarily shut down; all of these things I previously saw as signs from the universe telling me that Peru hated me and wanted me to leave. While these situations were at times extremely frustrating and challenging, I could have easily seen them as pros instead of cons.
Being younger than my fellow volunteers is difficult, sometimes I feel as though I am not taken as seriously. At the after-school program I work with, the kids are as old as 16, only three years younger than I am, and my appearance does not hide that at all. However, the volunteers never treat me as though I am less-significant, it is always self-proclaimed. I am constantly told how lucky and brave I am to travel on my own at such a young age, something I often forget. It is so easy for me to compare myself to the other volunteers and to tell myself I am not as valuable because I don't have a degree or I cannot speak Spanish as well or I have far less life experience, but it is much harder and more important for me to remind myself that they are all at least six years older than I am, and that when they were my age they were either in the same situation as I am, or they had much less experience than I already have for a 19 year old.
Working in an environment where no one speaks your first language is intimidating and hard and often stressful. For the first month of my project, I saw this as a negative thing, when it obviously has so many benefits. Not only has my Spanish improved immensely, but I have picked up a few bits and pieces of French- I can now count to ten, introduce myself, and ask someone's name. And, for the most part, I have gotten over the fear of messing up, which in my opinion is the hardest part of speaking a new language.
The school I take Spanish classes and also live in has undoubtedly been my favorite part of my semester. The teachers are all incredibly helpful, the staff members are all super accommodating and there are always new and interesting people from all around the world moving in and out of the rooms. All was well with this aspect of my trip until one morning a new owner took over and there was much confusion (there is still a large gap in my knowledge about what actually happened) and we were all told we would need to move out and that there would no longer be classes. Thankfully, this was only partly true. We did need to move out, but they provided us with a hostel to move into, and we would still be able to take classes, just in a different, less convenient location. This bump in the road simply reenforced the importance of flexibility.
While admitting all of this to many perfect strangers who take the time to read this blog makes me feel rather ungrateful for not enjoying my entire time here, I feel as though its important to be honest. Being alone in a foreign country is really hard. Learning to see the silver linings in every situation is vital if you want to have a positive experience. I've learned that being alone doesn't necessarily mean you are lonely, that not being the best at something does not give you an excuse to not do it, and most importantly, that all challenges are presented to us for a reason.
