It’s the afternoon of December 6th, and the community of Shanti Fall 2016 huddles one last time, arms wrapped around each other’s shoulders, the tops of our heads touching as we look down at the circle of feet below us. It’s a tradition that started early on in our trip; it became the way we often ended group meetings and gatherings, and has taken on more feeling every time. In these circles, we are often in silence, letting those parts of us that don’t speak verbally connect through our touch and our closeness. We acknowledge where we are physically in the world and in this moment, and give gratitude for that which has brought us all together.
Our circling unites nine individuals as into one entity. 12 weeks ago, we were nine individuals, mostly strangers to each other, all flying toward San Francisco airport to join together and embark on a journey. We had nine different homes across North America, nine different personalities and perspectives, nine different views and goals for our futures. But, in some sort of a miracle, or maybe destiny, our nine unique, individual life paths intersected and began to travel parallel together over the course of 12 weeks and thousands of miles of northern India.
Looking down at the calloused and dirty feet of those with whom we’ve traveled these months, it’s easy to visualize the footprints we’ve left across this land, and the imprints we’ve made on each other’s lives.
We’ve taken rickshaws, trains, planes, busses, rafts and camels across a small portion of this vast and varied land. We’ve seen cities, towns, mountains, rivers and deserts. We’ve explored some of the world’s most ancient religions while exploring some of the world’s most respected mountains and rivers. We’ve sweated more than we thought we could, and wrapped ourselves warmly in yak wool shawls, scarves and hats to face the cold of Himalayan winters. We’ve lived with Rajasthani and Tibetan families and had conversations with a multitude of people across many ethnicities and cultures that are united in one political entity called India. We’ve served the elderly, the sick and the dying and had reflective discussions about religion, identity, service and globalization to learn from these experiences. We’ve taken art and language classes, played games, and simply taken the time to wander and wonder.
Throughout this web we’ve weaved across northern India, we have moved as one group. Each of us have had our individual trips, and no doubt we will all take away our own particular lessons and memories, but we also have a group voice, a group story. It is the story of nine strangers coming together to form a cohesive group with one mission. It is the story of creating and following through with community agreements based on love, respect, inclusivity and openness to learning and challenging ourselves. It is a story of growth; of finding our growth edges and leaning into challenges; of learning how to accept that which we cannot change and learning how to breathe through and laugh about the unanticipated moments that India undoubtedly brings. It is a story of realizing that there are different ways to live in the world and find meaning in life, and that difference doesn’t necessarily mean better or worse.
As the smog and horns infamous to the area greet us back to Delhi, we find that we have not only traveled across much of northern India but we have also traveled, somehow and if by magic, through time, having arrived in the future on December 6th of 2016. How could this be? Twelve weeks passing in what seems like a flash. The moments of joy in exploration, laughter, support, and conversation has sped up our time to such a speed that the term “whip lash” is all that can be used to describe the surprise feeling of suddenly coming to the halting end of our journey.
We crowd together in hotel rooms and around tables over our final meals. We reflect and reminisce about the past twelve weeks. We marvel in the beauty of our explorations. And we realize that the most impactful journey we’ve been on is the journey of relationship with each other.
With arms spread wide in constant hugs and tears in our eyes, we have arrived at a point in group development known as “adjourning”, also frequently and appropriately referred to as the “mourning” stage. It is the stage in which our group must start to come terms with the truth of the matter, that the end had arrived and the “fam” needs to physically split apart and continue down our individual paths again. Despite our best efforts, no amount of denial nor bargaining will change this fact.
An interesting thing about group development stages is the permanence of the adjourning stage. Never again will this group be together again on these days in this location. Our paths will once again become separate and as the they twist and turn they will intersect again but this intersection will never be nor feel the same as it does now.
Looking to Earth for signs of comfort and inspiration, we see that she is an expert in this matter of goodbyes. Daily on Earth we say goodbye to those beings, animal and plant, that have come to spend a snippet of time here. Their life thus expired, the matter they are composed of transforms back into the basic building blocks that support new life, new growth. So too are we at the end of one cycle. As we integrate our experiences, reflections and learnings into our minds and bodies, we are transformed.
We say goodbye to an old way of being, an old way of looking at the world, and we say hello to the rest of our lives. We carry with us, on our paths, the lessons and love we have felt from one another. We carry with us the conversations, the jokes, the challenges. We carry with us each other and that is what will continue to make us stronger. And when our stronger future selves come together, to love from afar or hold each other close (reunion in Perah?), the new element we bring will only enhance our interactions. We do not hope to return to the same group feeling that we were before because we know, in our deepest heart of hearts, that the relationships with each other in the future will be even more beautiful and strong than those that we have right now.
Circled in a group hug, heads touching in the center and hearts touching in every direction with each squeeze of each wrapped arm, our Shanti fam gathers as is, for one last time.
So yes, this is an end, but it is also a new beginning. May you all remember that this was not some coincidental circumstance. That you were brought to India and we were brought together for some providential reason. And may you go forth on new paths with more confidence, more wisdom, and unquenchable thirst for exploration and learning. For the wisdom lies in knowing that we will never know it all…
Much love Shanti family. Blessings on your journeys!
Kate and Chris, signing out, for now…
