Typing the words and thoughts of my 11 fellow companions for the past three months once and then twice after the internet crashed and rebooted(hey, this is India) is scrambling my brain a little bit. With every word I type I recall an amazing day, a weird bowel movement, an inside joke, or a panorama of towering mountains. I remember our airport farewell. The 12 of us laughing and crying and generally making a racket while dozens of Indians looked on confused. Most of all my entire body resonates with a deep feeling of love for every weirdo that took this three month journey with me.
It seems unbelievable that in such a short amount of time I have come to care so deeply about 11 other people(12 other people, sorry Steve!). This trip has forced me to push past physical discomforts and to confront my own motivations for how I interact with others and how I treat myself. It has even given me the confidence to extend my trip another month and fly alone to the Andaman Islands. I wanted to go and instead of letting fear of being alone or simple apathy stop me I actively worked for what I wanted instead of just fantasizing. The islands are a lot stickier than I imagined or would have liked, but I’ve already met some fellow travelers and the aerial view of the lush nearly undisturbed islands filled me with such an ecstatic joy it’s worth whatever the next month throws at me.
No one is ecstatically happy all of the time. The past three months were filled with laughter, delicious food, great friends and many eye opening experiences. But sprinkled in was also some weird stomach stuff, a few uncomfortable train rides and a handful of hot and sticky nights. The point, I’ve learned, is to embrace the moment you’re in and to be comforted by the knowledge that everyone-in the US, India and around the world-wants happiness. We must all try to remember this even when life is stressful or uncomfortable or just seems like absolute shit.Usually, a smile will fix just about anything
May all beings be happy.
-Rebecca
I asked all group members the following three questions at some point during the final week of the trip:
1. What food item or cultural aspect etc. are you going to miss when you are back home in the States?
2. Using one or a combination of the five senses what is one sensory moment or experience of this trip that you will never forget?
3. Going on this trip we have shifted from a western way of living to an eastern one. As a result of this shift, is there any way in which your thinking, your way of living or your values have changed?
Mason
1. ” I’m already missing egg rolls from Kalcutta. Besides the Kalcutta egg rolls, street food. You walk around the street and can get delicious fried sandwiches, for like 30 cents you get a nice little snack that leaves you pretty full and satisfied.”
2. “I’m going to miss the feel of a bovine hump between my hands. [At this point in our talk Mason and Kyle break out singing “I’m gonna touch that hump”] It feels weird and squishy and it was just a fun game we played in Rishikesh.[We played this game] because they have humps and they need to be touched.”
3. “Really starting to do more volunteer work and focusing on helping those who really need it. I was so happy [volunteering] at Mother Teresa’s House in Kalcutta. It’s the best feeling [to volunteer]–it was really the first time I really felt compassion for someone I didn’t know. And with some of them you could just tell you helped give them a really good day.I want to carry over volunteering in my day to day life back home”
Daphne
1. “Fast cars and cheap thrills. And Dairy Milk Silk Bars.”
2. “Train Stations. There were just all kinds of people, beggars, travelers, everyday people. We spent a lot of time in train stations.”
3. “I’ve begun to question the existence of my reality:everything I see and who I am. I’m not sure if they’re even there anymore. From our Deer Park stay [Buddhist retreat] I began to get the general sense that maybe you’re not even here [in the universe].”
[Daphne is talking about the effect learning about the Buddhist concept that all forms that make up the universe are compounded and therefore temporary. This leads to the idea that nothing has concrete identity or inherent existence.]
Kyle
2. “I’ll always be haunted by the millions of car horns every night while I was trying to sleep.”
3. “I think I’ve changed two things:the way I eat, I eat with my hand more. I’ve changed the way I poop in that I clean with my hands more. I haven’t bought toilet paper once on this trip.”
Lauren
- “I think I’ll miss the spiritual historical wisdom. The depth of the cultural traditions.”
- “It’s always the air. The second I get off the plane [in India] I just know the air. It’s the smell, but it’s just the feel of it. It’s such dense air and it’s the way it feels on your skin and the way you breathe it in.”
- “The biggest thing that I’ve learned is what Thich Nhat Hanh said about how happiness can only be in the present moment. Not daydreaming about things in the future that may not even happen or fantasizing about the past that I probably wasn’t even fully present for.”
Alexis
1. “I will miss pretty much all of the food–like Lassis. I’ll miss the thin mattresses, sitting on the floor to eat and the aluminium cups and plates.”
2. “I just though of the Taj Mahal. It was so magnificent.”
3. “I feel like I’ve changed in so many different ways. I’m definitely going to be taking Buddhist viewpoint back with me and Indian culture. Finding a place in this group–a comfort in this group–has helped me feel kind of at peace with everything even my future. I’m a lot better at being in the moment.”
Abby
- “Kashmiri boxes, obviously. I’m going to miss working at the Mother Teresa home because I miss it already. Momos, Dairy Milk Silk Bars, and Lays Chili Limon chips[last item said in funny accent]. I’m going to miss all of the smiling faces.”
- “Driving through Bodghaya to the Buddha caves and seeing rural India. The people, just having the wind in my hair and listening to Bollywood music.”
- “I feel like I’ve grown more confident in myself–socially and mentally. I’m not really afraid to voice my opinions on things anymore. I’m more aware of myself and I’ve realized the things I still need to work on like being patient and appropriate. For example not talking about farts all of the time. Hopefully I’ll be calmer when I get home. I’ll try to meditate and get my hari om tat sat [Sanskrit mantra] on.”
Alex
1. “Specialization of things. How everything is specially made and personalized. Art. Food. Etc.”
2. “The colors. Everywhere in specific. The spice stands. The people.”
3. “More faith in humanity. When you build a picture of some place you just use broad strokes to paint the picture in your head. When you go you realize every individual has recognizable and relatable personalities no matter how different your cultures may be. When you go you realize the people have so many more stories to tell than what’s given in the big picture.”
Steve
[Steve was unable to make it to his interview as he is never where he is supposed to be. Instead all group members were asked the following question: “Describe Steve in one or a few sentences.”]
- “Independent man. Wasn’t much of a team player. Had a rough time, but I respect the man.”-Mason
- “Scratchy on the outside. Heart of gold on the inside.”-Alex
- “He’s a gentle soul, but with an explosive addiction to chewing gum that got him into some dark times.”-Kyle
- “I hate Steve.”-Abby
- “Steve is everything and nothing. Steve is infinite. If anyone ever tells you they know Steve they’re wrong.”-Max
- “Steve’s hot.”-Hannah Lee
- “Steven, girl’s really like it if you call them back. Thanks for everything. Thanks for nothing.”-Hannah Rockwell
- “I don’t know who this guy is but his attendance and participation are terrible.”-Robbie
- “Is this a real question.”-Alexis
- “Who?”-Lauren
- “He just is, you know.”-Rebecca
- “#@$%$^&%*$&*”-Daphne
Max
1. “Not being able to get a mini cup of chai at every street corner. Bargaining. You can’t go into a store in the states and say how about that much instead. Also, being able to eat out for so cheap.”
2. “Learning how to sleep with such loud car horns and sounds. Especially Delhi, that’s the loudest city in the world although don’t quote me on that. Also, seeing instances where people live so poorly like my home stay family in McLeod Ganj. I saw how smartly they lived and realized how much I have that I don’t need.”
3. “I’ve learned through mindfulness how to be happy and that happiness really comes from living in the present moment.”
Hannah Rockwell
- “First thing that came to mind was squat toilets. But also the kindness of strangers even if often they’re simply trying to get money. In the US if anyone tried to strike up a conversation with you you would probably be really put off. In India, it’s just the norm.”
- “I really expected after three months to become accustomed to the smell of urine everywhere, but it is really something you never grow accustom to.”
- “I have really gained a lot from Buddhist studies. Through them I found practical ways to remind myself to be happy daily by using mindfulness practice and being in the present. I can tell that this will really be helpful when I return to the stress of daily life.”
Hannah Lee
1. “Bargaining and street puppies. Street food, Kurta outfits, Kashmiri embroidery, hotels for $3 a night, rickshaws, Limca, Dairy Milk Silk Bars and Tibetan prayer flags everywhere.”
2. “In Varanasi to get to my cooking classes I would take a short cut through this slummy field where there was the cutest litter of puppies. The runt was half the size of all his brothers and of course became my favorite. He was the cutest and littlest puppy I’ve seen in my whole life. He was half the size of my palm. One day I held this puppy up to my chest and his belly was crawling with fleas and I just knew he was going to die and that there was nothing I could do. That was the first time that India really got under my skin.”
3. “I know this is going to sound funny because I was one of the biggest shoppers on this trip. But at home I’m going to change how much I waste. After seeing the conditions some people live in here it would be hard to spend $4 on a latte when with the money it cost to have a latte every day for two months you could literally smuggle a family out of Tibet.
Robbie
- “I’ll miss the words of respect. Like adding ‘ji’ on to a name. Through that you can show your respect for someone. It’s the same when I left Tanzania. I came home and all I wanted to do was show respect for someone but you just don’t use ‘sir’ the same way in our culture. In other languages respect seems to be more built in. I want to look for that within my own language.”
- “On the Ganga[sacred river]. On a boat. At sunrise. In Varanasi. The mist, cool air, moisture, the smell of poop and flowers and burning funeral pyres. Breathing deep,a rumbling in my belly and watching families build campfires around their loved ones.”
- “My concept of tightness of crowds has changed. I no longer have a fear of proximity of cars. After literally having the rubber of my shoe run over in a tight alleyway I don’t feel as nervous.”
